Friday, September 02, 2005

Taking it to the streets

Dammit! I'm in the Bespin cafeteria and again there's no seats left. I hope by the time I go through the lucnch line something opens up, if not I'll recall the old shovel-pop and remove somebody by force. First they're out of scones, now this. Better idea- there's a flashy ho sitting rin-din by her lonesome. Because of her uniform I knew she was a nurse from the medical wing. I sat next to her and flashed that Lando pimp grin. She melted and I took her to the supply closet to rock the rust from her. Lobot walked in just as I was finishing, I mean "just as". He was mad at me because it was his niece. Ob, boy! I didn't know, honest. But what a great piece of fruit. He won't talk to me now, but I can't blame him. Maybe I should give him a raise that might help him not be pissed. That's Lando's world, taking it to the street one white ho at a time.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Taking a "trip" to Boggyland

Went to Boggyland with some peeps today and went on all the roller coasters there were. Got a free Bespin salad with my opening price, unlike the car-daddy. Met a ho who worked at the cotton candy stand and we kissed for a long time while she was working. Then I found out she was a dude. Whoa! Lando's not into that! I walked away after one last kiss. Got a prize at the ball toss. Shared it with Lobot's baby momma's baby. We had funs today. Only problem is that I kissed a man. But that wasn't too bad.

Monday, August 29, 2005


I'm tight peepin' on the low, ya know. Today's the day my procter returns with a little yeyo. Can't wait. I had some drugs hidden in my underwear in case lobot got the idea to search me again. Han came by with Chewie and we filled out a tight questionaire. No more worrying on my part, I'll tell you that. Just easy flying from now on. Did a maze, too. I won again. Timer's out, Boom! Carbonite for shizzle!

Friday, August 26, 2005

Baby Momma

Skiddy-do-bop! What a fresh mu-shakin'! Gotta go get paid! A fellow brother doesn't want to pay it's time again for Lando's little Sam Jackson speech, you know, the one with the bible verse. The cramper was shakin' in his boots when I blasted him. Oh, well, another day in the life of a carbon-freezer. My baby momma came by to "get some child support" and I told her I was fresh out. To get her out of my hair, I let her experience the Lundy ride. She should be good for now. Lobot's buggin' cuz someone put itching powder in his jock. Damn, I'm craving a ham hock!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Cloud City miracle

I was screamin' with my peeps about the football game we saw last week. The heroic last second win called the cloud city miracle. Awesome! I got a good look in the mirror today- man, I'm a handsome black man! All the Bespin women are into me, I know it. I took one to the movies last night and made out with her really hard. She loved it. Got another date later, with another ho. Am I the playa, or what?

Friday night lights!

Flapple, dapple, frilly, and spot! It took me over an hour to make a long distance phone call to Han today. He said he's chillin' like a poppin' feiry in space with my old ship, the Millinium Falcon. Said he'll bring back that flapper-tap he brung over that one time. Chewie, too. We're gonna rock till the stars fall over. I better order more stuffing. Wing-wang, thank you, Han! I always like when we get together. It's like Mystic Boom!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Carbon freezing for sukkaz!

Had to free my chia pet to day it was giving me those 'headaches' again. I put it in the carbon freezer. That thing gets cold, like an ice maker. After work I might grab a burger with my homey, Lobot. Hopes he takes that thing off his head, he always embarrassed me in public. What a clown freak doper! OOOOOOOOO! Lunch time already? Malt liquor and navy beans, here I come!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

The cryptic message

My font is BIG, my bold is bright. The new supply problems have put me in a funk like no other funk. Sometimes I wonder if I jump from this cloud pedestal will it kill me. I the bread. My nappy hair can only take so much cosmic frizz at these altitudes. The last pure moment i may have had was when Wendy bought me those front-row tickets to Journey. Wow, that was a great concerts!